Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Med School is SO Hard

No, wait…dating someone in Med school is. And I know this because my boyfriend, FauxHawk, is almost done his last year of Med school and about to become a gynecologist. I’ll dedicate an entire other entry to THAT little doozy.

When I first met FauxHawk I have to admit that his being in med school and practically a *girly sigh* doctor was a major turn-on. It definitely was a major factor in my decision to introduce him to some Jungle Love, Peach-style, after a night of debauch at a rowdy bar. Although the many, MANY drinks he bought me (which would turn out to be triples) may have played a teeny role. This would not be the last time he would drug me to get what he wanted, although now he just slips me gravols to make me pass out when I’m drunk and obnoxious and he has to work the next day.

That’s not immoral, right??

Anyway, here is what I’ve learned about Med school through a year and a half of careful observation: Getting in is hard. Once you’re in, you’d have to murder a baby, set the hospital on fire, and sleep with the Dean’s virginal daughter to get kicked out. And even then they’d probably give you a second chance. You know, because you were probably having an off day.

To be fair, FauxHawk works very hard. He studies until 10pm some nights.

Ok, I have to stop before I get slipped more than a gravol next time!

Here is why dating a med student isn’t as glamorous or exciting as we’d been led to believe:

1. Getting kicked out of bed at 6am every day in the dead of winter.
2. Sex in the call rooms? Doesn’t happen. Masturbation? Perhaps, but I wouldn’t know. Or want to.
3. If you dress up in a nurse’s uniform to try to be sexy in the bedroom, all that happens is you get yelled at a whole lot, they forget your name, blame you for someone’s death, and then buy you a donut to stop your crying.
4. That girl you just got introduced to at a party? She did your pap smear last week. And she remembers.
5. That hot girl eyeing your boyfriend at the party? He did her pap smear last week. And he remembers.

The Peach

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