Tuesday, January 24, 2006

TheNurse on Safety

Last night I went out with some friends to a local student hang-out in Universitytown. It was my friend, WeeOne’s, Birthday, and TheNurse, TheHippie, TheHubby, my friend Cleavage (who always gets served first at the bar with those melons of hers) and myself gathered to celebrate.

TheNurse and I are no longer students, and last night we were very aware of how out of place we are at student-only hangouts. We were told to meet at the bar at 10pm. As TheNurse and I no longer live in the ‘ghetto’, we walked together from the other side of Universitytown – the side with the Mental Hospital, Meth Clinics, and Detox Centres. Since I know my friends are always late, we left at 10:15. We still ended up waiting for half an hour in the student bar. This is how we know we’re old:

- we complained about how crowded the bar was
- we complained that we couldn’t get seats
- we complained that the service was too slow
- we complained about how young everyone looked

I’d like to point out that we are only 23 and 22, but in a town like universitytown that is considered practically geriatric. Fucking universitytown.

Anyway, we made up a rule so as to not embarrass ourselves further while we waited: always assume that nobody knows who you are. ALWAYS ASSUME! Like when some girl waved in our direction and TheNurse waved back, only to realize that the girl was waving at a stick-insect pre-teen behind us. Always assume. And when some guy yelled my name, and I naturally turned towards him with an eager ‘someone remembers me!’ smile, only to realize that he was shouting to some stick-insect pre-teen. ALWAYS ASSUME!

Anyway, the rest of my posse arrived, we got WeeOne sloshed, and us old folks headed out early so that we could get our required 12 hours of sleep/night. On the way home, as we walked through the dark and deserted streets behind the mental hospital, TheNurse and I had the following conversation:

ThePeach: This has to be the most fucking dangerous street in universitytown.
TheNurse: For sure. Not only is it pitch black, but the only people who ever roam it are schizos off their meds.
ThePeach: Yep, we could get attacked and no one would ever know.
TheNurse: I have an attack whistle. Can you imagine if I ever actually blew it??! My rapist would probably piss his pants laughing and then just keep on raping me.

It’s so true.

The Peach


TheNurse said...

Hey I didn't actually wave I just thought for a second that someone was waving at me! also don't forget the wonderful use of the cell phone. It won't help you if someone attacks you but my theory is if they leave you somewhere after the attack at least you can call for help then!

WeeOne said...

Thanks for getting me sloshed! :)
and thanks for the Birthday wishes!

Cleavage said...

I sure did deserve to get served first that night. I had 'em fucking propped up on the bar!