Friday, March 03, 2006

More Driving Follies

I had another driving lesson today. I really wasn’t in a driving mood and tried to convince some of my lab-mates to take my place, but we figured that Frank might notice when I’m suddenly Chinese. And a good driver.

So, I sucked it up and did the lesson. The reason I was in a non-driving mood, by the way, is because my current existential crisis about what to do with my life has totally and completely funked me out. We’re talking the kind of funk that even a fresh can of icing can’t fix. Hopefully a big, shiny drink tonight will at least ease the pain.

Anyway, I actually did a good job today. Maybe mind-numbing depression is good for my driving? It took the edge off, for sure. I was much less cautious in my turning and lane changing. Or maybe I’ve just lost the will to live and can now live on the edge – the edge being aggressive lane changing. Either way, I didn’t totally suck. Frank was so proud.

At the end, he asked me if I’d be able to practice on my own at all and I said probably not since a) I don’t have a car (and really, how could I if I don’t have a license?), b) FauxHawk has a car but is very busy, what with the med school and all, and c) the last time FauxHawk let me drive I almost ran over a girl…while she was walking on the sidewalk. It’s her own damn fault for getting in my way. My way being the sidewalk. Anyway, FauxHawk isn’t exactly an eager beaver about letting me drive his car anymore. Do you blame him?

Here was Frank’s solution:

Frank: You know, you should get a new boyfriend.
ThePeach: *laughs out loud at the idea of anyone else ever putting up with me*
Frank: I mean it. You’re a very, very attractive young lady. I am sure you’d have no problem finding a new fellow.
ThePeach: A fellow with a car.
Frank: Yes, and make sure he has one of those new Mercedes cars.
ThePeach: I’m on it.

FauxHawk should rest assured that, even though he’s nervous about me driving his car, which by the way is a Honda Civic, I’m not going to leave him for someone with a Mercedes and a death wish.

Although I may have developed some tender feelings for Frank.



Anonymous said...

Chinese AND a good driver? You must be kidding me...

Anonymous said...

I believe it was only in comparison to our faithful narrator...which from the sounds of it, might be possible with a well trained monkey..... :)

The Peach said...

Hey Man, only thepeach disses thepeach's driving. But, for the record, a well-trained monkey would probably make a pretty good driver if you think about it. We can train them to do all sorts of other shit, like paint, use sign language, and act in movies. So let's not diss all the well-trained monkeys out there by comparing them to me, either. The only thing a monkey akin to my level of driving could do succesfully is throw feces. And scare the other monkeys.

Tigercat said...

Those monkeys have it right with the throwing of the feces. The peach and I believe that boys are stupid ... throw feces at them.


p.s don't actually throw your feces just make art depicting it ... more legal and less crazy :)

Anonymous said...

I don't think that feces are actually that easy to throw... a delicate balance of gripping and hucking.

thepeach said... don't "think".

You soft-stooled feces-throwing freak.

...please don't stop reading my blog. I need you.