Sunday, March 26, 2006

Wine and Cookie Dough: Reunited and it Feels so Good.

So, last night a bunch of us decided to have a girl’s night in. FauxHawk was out of town, WeeOne had just dumped her boyfriend, Cleavage had pot, TheHubby (who does, in fact, have a penis but is still included as an honorary chick) had a bad week, and TheHippie had surfaced from her sex-fest with her TempBf and needed some cookie dough to re-build her strength. What a perfect setting. We all gathered on the couches at WeeOne/TheHubby/Cleavage’s house and hit the sauce hard. And then, as usual, we hit the bong and hilarity ensued.

I decided to write down everything funny that someone said while we were high, and post it word for word today even if it made no sense. Here is the list that I found crumpled in my pant pocket this afternoon when I finally dredged myself out of bed/my drug coma:

ThePeach: Let’s get fucked.
TheHubby: Let’s.
Cleavage: Let’s.
TheHippie: I guess I’ll get high, too. I wouldn’t want us to not be in unison anymore.

ThePeach: Let’s stay young forever!
TheHubby: Crack that window open a little farther and hope that Peter Pan comes flying in!

TheHippie: How does one call a rat? With a rat whistle? *wooooooo*

TheHippie: Did you just mix red and white wine together?
TheHubby: I’ll make rosé.

ThePeach: What’s the dirtiest thing you ever did?
TheHubby: Well, I dated a prude, and now I hate her!

Cleavage: He was all “I’ll get you wet again, baby”.
TheHippie: God, it’s like he’s living in a porn.

ThePeach: I want some cheese!
TheHubby: I ate it all last night, sorry. I had an "episode".

Cleavage: Do you want me to tell you about the time I had sex with a girl?
ThePeach/TheHippie in unison: Yes, tell us! *eye each other warily*
ThePeach: Why did we say that in unison?
TheHippie: And enthusiastically?
ThePeach: Do you think that, on some subconscious level, we want to learn how to have sex with women?
TheHippie: Oh god, are we lesbians??
ThePeach: Oh god, are we going to be a lesbian couple??
(*nb: aren’t the ‘noids wonderful?)

After I stumbled my way home at 2:30am, I found the following message on my answering machine:

“Hi Peach, it’s TheCrazy. I know FauxHawk is out of town, but I think you’re still around. I have 3 crazy med-school girls visiting me this weekend, and last night we ended up going to the strip club, where I danced on the stage with the strippers. Anyway, it made me think of YOU and the time you went there and got your boobs taken out. Call me if you want to get crazy tonight.”

I thought about calling, but then I passed out.

I’d had enough lesbian encounters for one evening.

ThePeach

No comments: