Tuesday, April 11, 2006

ThePeach is on Hiatus

My eye has been twitching for a month straight. My left eye. I went to see my doctor and she asked if I had increased my caffeine intake at all in the last month, and then it hit me: roll up the rim started a month ago.

MOTHERFUCKING roll up the rim!!! You’re ruining my life AND my vision!

The day after I went to the doctor, I rrrolled up the rim and won a free donut.

Life is funny.

So, content with my winnings, I stopped going to TimHos to play roll up the rim twice a day and hoped the twitch would go away.

But my eye was still twitching.

My office-buddy told me that, according to Chinese superstition, a twitching eye – esp. the left eye – means that bad things are coming your way. Whatever, loser! I already gagned my free donut! Only good things were coming my way!

And then FauxHawk and I broke up the next day.

My eye twitch is gone.

Life is funny, The Chinese are a very wise people, rrroll up the rim still can rrrape my ass, and I am on hiatus from blogging until my life becomes hilarious again. Because no one wants to read sad-girl blog.

Oh, and yesterday a cat followed me for 4 blocks. 1 cat down, 49 to go!

Tres Sad ThePeach


asian cymbals said...

Dear The Peach,

This posting made me feel so ashamed. I started in with relish, preparing for rip-roaring laughs, my diaper on in case I accidentally pooped myself silently screaming with laughter (I'm at the office). And after several well-timed punchlines, you delivered the news. And I felt so ashamed of myself.

You take as long of a hiatus as you need, and I'm sending asian lesbian hugs and love your way.

Guys are shit anyway, and now you can add more people to your list of sexual partners before you end up married before you realize what's happening, and then sadly find that it's the end of the road, and you are no longer allowed to look at other penises. But it's not the end of the road for you! It's a close call!!

I suspect this won't be helpful, because it's not like we're even close. But I care, and your news sucks.

I give you a feeble sad smiley and sign off.


Asian Cymbals

thepeach said...

Thanks for the lesbian hugs, asian cymbals. We don't have to be super close to share precious homo-erotic moments.


Evil Bird said...

Natttttt! I think I feel a sympathetic eye twitch coming on. God, I mean, life is going great, you're finally winning Roll up the Rim, and then next thing you know, you and FauxHawk are no longer. I just recovered from a broken heart myself, and am now finding the strength to be bitter as hell about men while still making out with as many randoms as possible. You'll soon get to the beautiful stage I'm at. Anyway, school's almost done and I'm heading up North to tree plant soon (pray for me), but I think a visit from synchro evil bird is long overdue. And guy bashing is as good a reason as any to make a trip to K-town! So lemme know if you're up for visitors at any time soon.

thepeach said...

I'm always up for visitors!!! And I had a synchro nightmare last night. I was dreaming that I was in a figure competition and I was trying to do a front pull-down and forgot how to support-scull (like I ever knew) and I couldn't lift my legs and it was AWFUL.

5 years later, still having anxiety-ridden synchro nightmares. That really says something.

Evil Bird said...

oh.my.god. I am actually incredibly creeped out right now because last night I also had a synchro dream where I couldn't skull properly. In my dream I couldn't to a verticle and sping down; like I could only get my ankles out cause my support skull wasn't working. That is probably one of the strangest coincidences ever - we are on some psychic synchro link here. Evil bird works in mysterious way.

I'm excited. I'm thinking a visit sometime towards the end of April? we'll talk later... or maybe we can just chanel our thoughts through our dreams.

thepeach said...

that. is. fucked. up.

I have an air mattress with your name on it.

The Diva said...

what can I say?
I do adore you both...
and i still feel you're one fucking cool gal....
I take no sides... but I send you nothing but happy vibes and hugs.
the diva

Ewen said...


Maybe I gave you something? I'm just kidding.

Ewen said...


Maybe I gave you something? I'm just kidding.

-Matt said...

Hey sunshine,

Sorry to hear about you and FauxHawk.

Hope you're okay.

thehippie said...

while the peach is on hiatus, i figure as her life partner it's my duty to attempt to entertain you, although my life is not nearly as hilarious and i have the story-telling capacity of a 4 yr old on a ritalin holiday. you all probably have way more interesting things to say, but i dont care. here goes.

in case you don't know i'm currently on placement in hickville, attempting to save children by remediating their handprinting. hickville is a funny place with some funny children. Take for example, my first day:

preceptor: Kid, how about you tell thehippie why we're working together.
kid: I don't know.
p: OK, tell her about that scar on your hand.
kid: no
*I look at 1 inch scar on left hand, inbetween thumb and index finger
me: Oh, did you cut yourself?
kid: no
p: He actually had an extra finger removed a few months ago.
me: Oh
p: Are you glad its gone Kid?
kid: nope
p: Ok........ but the extra finger doesnt get caught in your coat and mittens now right?
kid: I guess
me: Ahh

So here I am, thehippie, saving the world's children one inbred kid at a time. Life is funny.

Thepeach and i are both in Hometown (mine, and now her mothers) and we hope to do some serious hurt to our bank accounts tomorrow, with me purchasing the finest organically sustainable cotton based clothing i can find, and her purchasing whatever her little heart desires. maybe tomorrow's the day i'll make the move and ask for her hand in marriage with the most beautiful hemp wedding ring i could find at the co-op. wish us luck.

Anonymous said...

Awww, The Peach, I am sorry to hear about you and FauxHawk.

Anonymous said...

Woops, I posted by accident before I was finished. It's your former research buddy, Yessir, I can Boogie, speaking. Although I hesitate to correct any of your friends, particularly one who sends you asian lesbian love-hugs, but asian cymbals is wrong! You can tooooo look at other penises when you are married, you just can't touch :)