Thursday, June 08, 2006

ThePeach and QueenB Have Very Different Daddy-Issues

So I got this mass email from my friend QueenB last week. Remember how I told you that she has the best parents ever? Observe:

Dear friends,

So....it's 1am and I'm still up - why? Because it's supposed to be 35 degrees this week and my Dad just left my house after installing my air conditioner and buying me patio furniture (for my birthday)...He called @ 9:30pm and said he was driving to Toronto and was here by 11:30pm and just left (approx home arrival time 3am and he will be up by 6am). His response "This is what I do for my princess" even after arguing with him not to.....and that is why I do not date...be cause no one else in their right minds would do these fucking things....urghhh...I love my Dad.

- QueenB

Here is what I wrote back to her:

Dear QueenB,

Your dad: installs you an AC in the middle of the night so that you will survive the heat wave.

My dad: promised to help me move (moving day is today) 2 weeks ago, hasn't answered his phone in 7 days. I presume he is drunk.

This is why I CAN'T STOP DATING.

Daddy doesn't love me!

- ThePeach

So ya...my dad conveniently "forgot" to help me move and my boyfriend was too busy lying on a beach in central america working on his jew-tan. But don't feel bad for ThePeach. TheNurse, who is my actual boyfriend, helped me lug heavy shit up and down stairs all day. Then, to thank her, I took her out for lunch. It's just what a good girlfriend does for her helpful boyfriend.

Take-home lesson: You can't rely on mens. You can only rely on the chickas in your life who are your replacement mens.

This might be why I have trust issues.

ThePeach

ps - to be fair, FauxHawk helped me assemble my futon before he left for the tropics. The instructions were in french. If it weren't for his help, I would be watching tv on a milk crate. Tabernac!

3 comments:

weeone said...

i still think queenb's ex's reply-to all was just as hillarious:

Ha! You think that's frustrating...you should try dating you. ;)

here's to girlfriends replacing the mens :)

TheNurse said...

Since I am your replacement mens do you think I can charge faux hawk for my chiro bills? I know I act like the mens but alas I don't have the muscle strength and now my back is effed. but don't worry peach i'd do it again in a second. for lunch of course

TheNurse said...

Since I am your replacement mens do you think I can charge faux hawk for my chiro bills? I know I act like the mens but alas I don't have the muscle strength and now my back is effed. but don't worry peach i'd do it again in a second. for lunch of course