Thursday, September 21, 2006

ThePeach Takes a Sick Day

Ola Bitches,

I am blogging from home today because I am sick and took the day off. I'm also achey, feverish, whiney, and annoying - fun times! I just want someone to come make me soup and cuddle with me while the fever-chills run through my poor body...but apparently that offer is only appealing to me. At least the kitten is behaving for once, and he cuddled with me all night and only bit me a few times. My spastic, downs-syndrome, inbred, HIVs kitten is the only person who loves me, and that makes me sad. Sad and achey. Or maybe that's the fever.

Here is something else that makes me sad and achey: the email correspondance I had with TheBoss about me being sick. I pasted it word-for-word.

To: TheBoss
From: ThePeach
Subject: Sick

Hi Boss,
I wanted to email you tonight in case I sleep until noon or something tomorrow. I am so bloody sick, there's no way I can come in again tomorrow (Thursday...today by the time you get this). I still have a fever and all that fun stuff. I think I'll be fine by Friday so I will be back then. The good news is that I now have 5 fully trained slaves, I mean volunteers, entering data for us. We should get through that box in no time at all. Yay!

Ok...bed. Sorry about missing work. If there's anything you need feel free to call me or email me.

ThePeach

To: ThePeach
From: TheBoss
Subject: Re: Sick

Peach,

Who am I going to bug today? Drats, maybe I will call you to get my harassment fix?
But seriously, sleep it off, and see ya Friday bright and early, big lab meeting coming up.

Peace out dog! (how is that for my new one?)

Sincerely,
TheBoss


I bet TheBoss would make me soup and cuddle with me...and by "cuddle" I mean "put his penis in my acorn". And by "make me soup" I mean "put his penis in my acorn".

Sad and achey but not quite that desperate,

ThePeach

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Last time the girl I currently sleep with got sick, I made her chicken soup from scratch, then brought it to her, along with some peach pie I found in the kitchen. The soup wasn't that hard to make, although, I did have to make a chicken dinner first so I could make chicken stalk... and then I had to find fresh vegitables and spices to use.... And then I did have to drive it like 45 minutes to a neighbouring city where she lives.

I had nothing to do with the peach pie, but it was aparently made from scratch also by someone who lives with me.

I would have given her a full body massage also, but aparently it's bad to give sick people massages, because it makes it worse.

What does your boyfriend do? because, I'm pretty sure he's supposed to at least top that...

The Peach said...

He cleaned the kitten's shitter.

Go away, anonymous! You make me feel bad!

Well, don't go away...but shut up a little?

weeone said...

i would also like to kick anonymous' ass... cause im pretty sure they are making up this boyfriend ... cause there is no such thing as a boyfriend who is that nice.

and this is why boys are the antichrist.

hope you feel better peach!

sending get better vibes from the west coast.
-me :)