Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Breakup Diaries: Day 3

Starbucks Tea: $2.00
Aveda Beauty Products: $90.00
Family Guy Season 4 Dvd: $50.00
Novel: "Get Published": $10.00
Matt Barber Concert Ticket: $10.00
God knows how many Gin and Tonics: ??$$

Filling the void in my soul with material goods/alcohol: priceless.

Also, Matt Barber is a hot man who knows his way around a harmonica. We eye-fucked a little. It's 2am and I'm not crying. Thank you jesus, mary, joseph, etc.

Yours in gravol-coma induced sleeps,



TOP said...

just a small kernel of advice from an experienced breaker-upper...when filling the void with material goods (which i fully support; effective numbing varies proportionately with monetary value), make sure you give your credit card company the heads up. there's nothing more embarassing than breaking down in sobs in a store when your credit card is inexplicably denied, shouting "but i KNOW there's enough money left, i JUST paid it off!! why is the world turning against me?? oh cruel cruel world!" as the frightened clerk cowers behind the cash and tries to placate you with extra tissue paper in the bag (either that or trying to build a protective shield should you actually lose your shit). and then having to answer your phone in the midst of these hysterics to what will likely be the most annoying voice you've ever heard telling you that they've noticed some unsual activity on your card lately and that's why they've put a hold on it. to which you (naturally) reply "you tards!! you motherfucking tards, i'm going through a break-up!!" and slam down the phone assuming that this explanation is totally reasonable and will effectively solve the problem (amazingly it doesn' the people who make those phone calls have never had their hearts broken...if there was any justice in the world, they would be repeatedly dumped and would just KNOW when anyone went on a break-up spending spree).

anyway, not that anything like that ever happened to me...just take my advice and call them to say that there's definitely going to be some unusual activity on your card over the next little while so back the fuck off...


ps - congrats on reaching the buying shit stage, it's a step in the very expensive right direction

The Peach said...

Thanks for the advice, TOP. I'll warn my mastercard company. Especially since today's purchases may include a guitar. I figure I can channel all of my heartbreak into song and become famous for my gritty, soulful vibe. Or I can just smash things with it.

Cleavage said...

Firstly, I take exception to your listing of prices. A Starbucks tea is actually only $1.70, or free if you call your favorite barista and get me to steal you some.
Point the second: My guitar has not been touched since The Military Man left my life, nor do I expect to play with it for a while, since he probably wrote love songs to his pregnant fifteen year old girlfriend who looks scarily like his little sister on *his* guitar...would you like to borrow it? I think I still have the tab for Scarborough Fair tucked into the case.