Monday, October 30, 2006

ThePeach Does Stuff

I need to keep busy. Free time = the sads. I am sick of the sads. Thus, I did the following things today to keep busy and shut my cry-hole:

1. Decided to paint my apartment. Change is good. Projects are good. Me doing any do-it-yourself projects is disastrous, but this is the most practical of all my post-breakup irrational decisions that people had to talk me out of. Like removing my IUD (“but it makes me think of FauxHawk!” “But it keeps you from having babies!” “But it makes me think of” “NO BABIES!!! *slap*”), or quitting my job and school to go live with TheNurse (“but you have a cat…and an apartment…and a job…put down the credit card, woman!! PUT IT DOWN!! *slap*”), or running away to Mexico to flip tortillas for a living (“But I need to get the fuck away from here, TheHubby!!” “No.” “…Wanna come?” “…YES!!” “Ok, you steal a car and I’ll put Milo in his carrying case!” “Weee! TheHubby and ThePeach are moving to Mexico and – hey, isn’t Lost on tonight? Forget it.” “I hate you.”)

So anyway, I will very shortly be painting my apartment. I spent almost my entire work day looking up colours on the Debbie Travis Website. Debbie Travis is a corporate whore who looks like she likes it up the acorn, but I appreciate her handy website. So ya – painting! As soon as I ask my landlord. And buy paint. And brushes. And drop sheets. And oh fucking forget it. It’s too much work. I’ll just hire some homeless to do it for me. I’ll pay them in blow and hand-jobs – the same way I pay my rent.

2. Went out for Sushi and ice cream with TheHippie and TheHubby. As usual, I was terrified of running into the ‘Hawk. Sushi is a common love of ours. Luckily, he avoided the sushi tonight. Just like he did for the past 4 months of our relationship. Zing. And, also, gross.

Anyway, our wasabi dreams were answered and we had a beautiful 3-way love-date. Just me and my husband and wife.

3. Went on an apartment purge. I threw everything that reminded me of FauxHawk into a box and I threw that box in the back of my closet. I wanted to burn it, but I’m out of Kerosene. Damnit, I need to keep more of that shit around!

4. Cleaned up the chaos that Milo left in my apartment. The fucker knocked down 2 sets of shelves in my bedroom, broke one of them, and knocked every single thing I own onto the floor. Then, because he was scared, he tried to hide in the curtains. Then he got stuck in the curtains. Then he broke the curtains. Then he peed somewhere in my apartment that I haven’t been able to locate but can smell. Then I put him in a sack and beat the sack with a baseball bat and put the sack in the bathtub and filled the tub with water and held the sack under the water with the bat until ALL THE EVIL WAS GONE. Ok, I made up that last part. You all know water doesn’t get rid of evil. Kerosene does. DAMNIT WHY DON’T I KEEP MORE OF THAT SHIT AROUND?!


Now I am going to take a break from mania to watch “The Bachelor: Rome”. A girl needs trash in her life.

ThePeach

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