Tuesday, January 09, 2007
ThePeach Is Going To Hell; Takes TheCrip
In case anyone wasn’t already positive that I would not only rot in hell, but also become the dark lord’s evil-consultant (TheDevil: I think today I’ll kill some orphans. ThePeach: Molest them first…then kill them. TheDevil: You so craaazy!), here is a convo I had with TheCrip over msn today:
TheCrip: I went to a hockey game this weekend.
TheCrip: It was Special Olympics Day!
ThePeach: OH MY GOD.
TheCrip: I walked in and this tard ran over waving a flyer at me and yelled “SUPPORT SPECIAL OLYMPICS” in this amazing tard voice!
ThePeach: YES! OH MY GOD!
TheCrip: Unfortunately I was with TheHippy, so I couldn’t laugh out loud…
ThePeach: Shit, that damn hippy ruins everything.
TheCrip: Well, she did laugh when all the tards started dancing to that song “Put your hands up in the air! Put your hands up! In. The. Air!”
ThePeach: OH. MY. GOD. YES! YYYYYESSSSS!
TheCrip: I immediately thought of you.
ThePeach: Did you videotape it on your cell phone?
ThePeach: DID YOU VIDEOTAPE IT, THECRIP??
TheCrip: I know I failed you.
ThePeach: You’re fucking right you failed me! FUCK! DANCING TARDS, THECRIP!
TheCrip: I’m so sorry. My mom’s dog-sitter is a tard. She looks like a potato.
ThePeach: YES. You do realize that karma is going to bite us in the ass and that our own children will be tards, right?
TheCrip: Do you think if we mated that our karma would cross each other out?
ThePeach: No, I think we would breed tards with flippers. But I have a plan. It’s not illegal to drown tards, right?
TheCrip: They won’t drown if they have flippers. But we can shoot them out of potato cannons.
ThePeach: YES! And we’ll aim the cannons at cripples! We’ll kill 2 birds with 1 tard!
TheCrip: We’re going to hell.
ThePeach: I can take it.
TheCrip: And the tards will be our overlords.
I'm coming to you soon, Satan. Patience...patience...