Wednesday, February 14, 2007

ThePeach’s Mom Really Knows How to Say “I Love You”

My mom has always gotten me and my sister Valentine’s Day treats for as long as I can remember. It’s sweet in a “I’m the only person who could ever love you because I raised you to repel men” kind of way. She used to make us heart-shaped pancakes when we were young’uns, and now that we live in separate cities she sends us little packages of candy/themed socks/etc. every year.

This year she chose to express her motherly love in a different way.

She sent my sister and I each a laminated wall-sized poster of our dead grandmother and great grandmother.

In case you missed that, I’ll repeat the key points:

Laminated.

Wall-Sized.

Poster.

Dead People.

Because nothing says “I Love You!” like a poster of the recently deceased. Maybe I’ll hang it over my bed. I like the idea of dead people watching over me while I sleep.

My mother does realize that I live alone in a house that was probably built over 100 years ago. Does she want me to be haunted?? I don’t know if I believe in ghosts, but I think this poster is just begging for it. I might as well go leave lighted black candles on my grandmother/great-grandmother’s graves at a full moon and then use a Ouija board to ask them if they have any unfinished business.

Awesome, Mom.

I’ll be having night-terrors from now on, by the way.

ThePeach

2 comments:

Carrie said...

wow. I guess that's kind of sweet... other than the laminate part (why, does she think you'll be putting it on your dinner table where foodstuffs can be spilt on it?), and definitely minus the wall-size part. No good can come of blowing up any photo to wall-size.

Cleavage said...

Dude, it's like those wall-sized photos they put up in giant dioramas at museums. You know, where you walk around the corner and apologize for walking into someone, then realize it's just a photo? Like that.
Maybe putting the photo ON the pee-pee futon would deter Milo?