Anyway, my point is that I really don’t like clowns. I’m not terrified of them, like TheHippie is, but I really hate them. A lot.
Last Saturday, TheHippie, TheHubby and I watched an SNL skit where they made fun of McDonalds and referred to a “McJob” as the act of receiving oral sex from a clown. This got us to thinking. What would it really be like to receive oral from a clown? The answer: terrifying and also hilarious.
ThePeach: Can you imagine looking between your legs and seeing a clown’s face looking back up at you?
TheHubby: Would he smile the entire time?
ThePeach: I think he would make funny noises while he did it. Like motorboat noises. Or slide whistle noises. *wheeeeee!!* (imitation of slide whistle)
TheHubby: Can you imagine a clown’s voice asking you: “Hey, Hey, boys and girls! Are you coming yet?!” *said in high-pitched clown voice*
ThePeach: I like to think he would also honk a bicycle horn.
TheHubby: And, in the background, the circus theme music would be playing. *do do do-do-do-do do do DO DO*
ThePeach: Do you think his makeup would smear? Like you’d look at your own genitals and there would be a copy of the clown’s face imprinted on you?
TheHubby: For foreplay he’d perform magic! Like he’d pull a string of brightly-coloured scarves out of your vag.
ThePeach: God, this is really getting disturbing. Seriously, I’m slightly terrified. Maybe even terrified enough to never want oral again.
TheHubby: Me too.
ThePeach: Well, that’s clearly a lie.
TheHubby: No shit.
ThePeach: Is anyone else craving McNuggets?
TheHippie: *sobs gently into a pillow*
I’m loving it.