Thursday, February 28, 2008

Victory Tastes Like Splenda

I am currently finishing my FREE steeped tea from Timmy Whore-Whore's. It tastes like victory! And also like Splenda. Yes, FauxHawk and his manorexic ways have finally gotten to me and I have switched to Splenda. I'm not convinced that consuming a chemical won't give me cancer, but maybe I won't gain 5 sugar-pounds this rrroll season.

By the way, my victory parade will be this Saturday. I plan to march down the main UniversityTown street, cup in hand, a single tear on my cheek, with FauxHawk following behind me in his Hawk-mobile. Where can I procure a siren for his car? It has been suggested that I march topless, but this has yet to be decided. It's chilly out.

ALSO: did you know that when you win a free beverage, you can redeem ANY SIZE you want??? So, of course I got an extra-large steeped tea. I assume that the larger the drink you buy, the greater the chance of winning. My gambling/caffiene addictions are SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW! Seriously, this is more caffiene than I am used to. I already have the shakes. I assume the eye twitch will follow shortly.

And now to rrroll my rrrim...

"Please Play Again"

Well. Fuck you.



Billy said...


I am now 1/6, but more importantly, I am in the process of booking a flight to Vegas before this luck runs out...

Or maybe I'll just drive to Atlantic City.

Decisions, decisions.

The Peach said...


iv_eternity said...

your blog totally brightens up my mornings. i can't help but laugh every time i read it!

the words "please play again" have started to haunt my dreams... again.

at least you've got one win. i'm, right now, at 0/26. how sad is that?