Saturday, July 19, 2008

I regret nothing.

It is approx 1 month until I move to CapitalCity. I’m starting to get really nostalgic for UniversityTown, and since I’m not taking any classes this summer nor do I give a fuck about work, I have decided to leave the city the same way I arrived almost 8 years ago: as an obnoxious, drunken whore. That would be why I ended up swimming in the fountain in the market square last night with TheCrazy at 3am. We had just finished bingeing on post-bar poutine, and I know you’re supposed to wait 20 minutes before you swim, but the water was only ankle-deep so it seemed reasonable. Just like how everything I do seems totally reasonable.

And now FauxHawk and I are going to drive to CapitalCity to purchase and assemble some Ikea furniture for my new apartment. Anyone who has watched us play cards, wii, connect-4, or cranium turbo will understand that I fear this event will cause our breakup. We don’t do things well together. In fact, I think I can foresee the exact moment when our relationship will end: when I whip an ikea allen-key at FauxHawk’s head. Not playing well together + the challenge of assembling Swedish furniture = relationship poison.

Oh god, I can still taste the gin and melted cheese curds. I need about 4 more hours of sleep and a stomach pump. And maybe a hepatitis shot after swimming in the fountain.

My feet are sticky.


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