Thursday, October 16, 2008

The return of chakra #2; predation

This is going to be trouble.

So, Tuesday was a fun day. We got out of class early because of elections, so MortalCombat and I wandered our neighbourhood to find our polling station. It was a gorgeous fall day in our beautiful little neighbourhood. We live in a tree-lined, oasis-like, 1955 mecca. Kids ride down the streets on bikes. Neighbours wave to each other. I can only assume that, inside the grand old houses, well-kept housewives baste turkeys or wax the floors or whatever the fuck it is that domesticated bitches do. Polish silverware? I don’t know.

So anyway, it was pretty idyllic outside. So, of course, we did the mature thing and frolicked in the leaves like a couple of 6-year-olds. It was all very innocent and sweet until I ruined things by saying “cock” in front of a group of pre-schoolers. Listen, they had to learn sometime.

Then we voted. We were so pleased with ourselves that we high-fived each other as we stuffed our votes in the ballot box. High five for democracy! Not that it did our poor fucked country any good, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t let this blog get partisan no matter how much I despise some of our sweater-clad elected officials.



*whispers* Herper

Ok. So after the high-five we walked to a major street nearby to do some grocery shopping. I literally had no food other than margarine and coffee, so hitting up the Loeb was top priority. And then…then…we passed an Aveda Spa. I knew better than to go in, but MortalCombat wanted to book an appointment. I told myself not to look at or touch anything. We went inside.

MortalCombat: Hi, I’d like to book an appointment.
ThePeach’s Brain: DO NOT LOOK AT THE PRODUCTS
MortalCombat: Today, if possible.
ThePeach’s Brain: DO NOT TOUCH THE $25 HAND MOISTURIZER
MortalCombat: Later in the afternoon.
ThePeach’s Brain: OH MY GOD, THAT SMELLS GOOD
MortalCombat: Credit card.
ThePeach’s Brain: IS THAT A NEW LINE OF BODY SPRAYS???!!!
MortalCombat: Thanks.
ThePeach’s Brain: JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW.
MortalCombat: Can I use your washroom?
ThePeach’s Brain: FUCK

MortalCombat was gone for maybe 3 and a half minutes, but in that time I managed to try on, ask questions about, and purchase a $32 bottle of Aveda Body Spray. I decided this was a more important purchase than bread, milk, and foods to ward off ye scurvy. And I still stand by this. Because…

Because!!!

IT WAS A CHAKRA #2 BODY SPRAY!!!!!

Who recalls my love affair with chakra 2 from last year? Please, read about it and get acquainted with the magical sexual chakra.

The chakra-2 teas of yesteryear transformed my life. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I sure did do a lot of predating. And now someone has bottled the chakra in such a way that allows me to spray it directly onto my body.

On a totally unrelated note, FauxHawk is visiting this weekend.

I hope he takes his vitamins.

ThePeach

3 comments:

Claire said...

My housewife says she'd be pleased to fill you in on what domesticated bitches do.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend works at an aveda salon and gets all that crap half off.

I'll have to convince her to buy some chakra 2 for "fun"

Anonymous said...

oh-oh...that bottle of body spray just killed 60% of your monthly budget for food, clothing, entertainment, toiletry, beverages, and drinks.

ex-officemate