Sunday, November 16, 2008

Update: 1+2; or, ThePeach Attempts to Pull Shit Together without Getting Hit By Bike

- Got 10 hours of sleep last night.
- Caught up with WeeOne, something I have been meaning to do for weeks. Months. Miss that bitch so bad.
- Finally messaged Cleavage back. Told her to visit. Will make time for her and her glorious rack somehow. Black magic? Voodoo dance? Send suggestions re: time travel. Also, send cheese.
- Found bus money. Literally used quarters I found in bottom of laundry basket and a loonie I found stuck to the side of my binder with a piece of gum. Took bus to mall. First task: bought bus tickets.
- Replaced eaten cell phone charger. ‘Spensive. Considered selling cat. But then who would treat his AIDS? Decided I am a humanitarian for keeping bastard cat alive. Glowed with self-worth.
- Updated cell phone plan to include unlimited text messages and to avoid more $120 phone bills. Celebrated future savings by spending $70 in clothing store directly across the hall from Bell World. Shit-fuck.
- Went hog-wild at Independent Grocer. Bought approx 7 types of vegetables. Also, bought toilet paper. Basic life needs fulfilled.
- Bought natural peanut butter at hippy store. They had their own peanut press. Laughed out loud at how brown paste coiled into container like soft poop. Will come back to this store often.
- Once home, decided to forgo vegetables in favour of Kraft Dinner. Spiral Kraft Dinner. Felt classy.
- 8km run!!! In the rain! And dark! Alone! Somehow did not get raped on deserted bike path. Grateful. Questioned fuckability.
- Consumed vegetables.
- Visited Spaz. Peed self as she spazzed over printer malfunction.
- 3 cups coffee
- Realized I am not drunk on a Saturday. Miracle.
- Wrote half of essay. Miracle. Actually enjoyed articles. Shock.
- Phone call from FauxHawk. Got in serious trouble for admitting that I tried my first cigarette. Breakup threats were uttered. Felt bad. Decided I don’t necessarily need to partake in every possible vice. Things I’m already addicted to include: caffeine, gambling, drinking, tv, sex.
- Legs stiff from running. Hurts so good.
- 1 cup coffee.

How am I doing?



Laura Keil said...

I may or may not have introduced you to Benson&Hedges, but I did introduce you to the harmless addiction of washing in public. Gotta lye?

Spaz said...

christ, christ, christ and a half!

The Science Manly said...

WOW, that puts my day's productiveness to shame ... very impressive!

However, please don't continue to be THAT productive ... please. You WILL out the rest of us to shame