Sunday, December 07, 2008

Return to Universitytown: Part 1

Hi kids.

You have 1 day left to vote:

I've been back in Universitytown for 11 hours and I'm already fucking gunned. I love this city.

I start my internship at Universitytown newspaper on Monday, so I left CapitalCity and my darlings Spaz and MC early so that I could start my fucking job. It was very traumatizing to cut the cord and leave all of my j-school bitches behind. I might have cried in the street when I said goodbye to MC, and I may or may not have smelled Spaz's hair when we hugged goodbye for a month. A month!!

But. But! Universitytown is fun. I rolled in at 1pm. I hadn't slept in 3 days. I had been wearing the same clothes for 5 days. I hadn't eaten a real meal in a week. I'm not kidding. Yesterday I ate the following: a piece of bread (donated by MC), 4 cups of coffee, and half of a starbucks zesty turkey sandwich. I couldn't afford the whole thing, so I split it with TerribleInfluence.

In the 11 hours that I have been in Universitytown, I have done the following:
- been fed a real meal by TigerCat
- been invited for fancy "happy new job" dinner by TigerCat
- been lent a functioning laptop by TigerCat
- worked for 4 hours on take-home law exam (ew)
- consumed a vegetable
- slept for 45 minutes
- bathed my person
- put on real pants
- consumed 3 gins
- consumed 2 free rounds of shots courtesy of bar manager friend
- been offered free NHL tickets by bar manager friend
- consumed nacho serving the size of a beluga

And now I am going to saunter my drunk, nachoed ass into the boudoire and attempt to rape FauxHawk. My sexy "too welfare to eat" body should help that mission. So will the plaid thong.

Wish me luck.



Spaz said...

The polls are closed!

Claire said...

Plaid thong?

Anonymous said...

Good luck tomorrow! :)