Thursday, December 04, 2008

Suicide Mission

Hi kids.

I don't have much time to update tonight. I'm busy having a nervous breakdown.

I'm just finishing off my first term of Journalism grad school, I have to complete two massive essays by tomorrow, I move back to UniversityTown Saturday morning - for a month! - because I start my apprenticeship at UniversityTown Newspaper on Monday, I haven't packed yet, I don't actually own any appropriate office-wear clothing, I haven't figured out how to pay my January rent yet, I'm out of food and all I've eaten today is a lean cuisine frozen pizza, I'm now officially completely nocturnal, and - pleasant surprise! - my laptop just officially off'd itself.

Seriously. It's dead. Moved on to laptop heaven. Or maybe hell, since it was full of lesbian porn. Right before it died it flashed that it now had 460 Trojan viruses - that's a lot of STDs, man. I'd kill myself, too. Anyway, it flashed the 460 viruses, was inundated with popups for about 4 hours, and then turned off and I haven't been able to revive it. I even gave it CPR. If I had a set of defib paddles I'd try those, too. I think the problem is that the laptop wants to be dead. You can't help something that doesn't want to be helped.

Anyway, I spent about 2 hours trying to revive the fucker before I declared it deceased and let go of its spirit so that it wouldn't haunt me with its unfinished business. I had a little cry fit over the 2 days of work I just lost, considered throwing myself in the river, but decided that I couldn't deprive the world of my new bangs. So I put on pants and left my apartment to face the world.

I'm currently using a loaner laptop in the library with TerribleInfluence. Although he might not be so terrible since he talked me off the bridge and bought me a large starbucks coffee, and is now supervising me to make sure I get my work done. He might be mad if he knew I was using the last remaining hour of my laptop loan to update my blog, but from across the table it just looks like I'm carefully typing my essay. I even have my book open on my lap. Maybe I'm the terrible influence. Life is a mystery.

Back to work. I promise to steer clear of the knife drawer.



Spaz said...


TheCrip said...

I can probably fix your laptop for you if you want when you return to university town. Let me know. We can call it your christmas present from me.... for ever.