Thursday, March 19, 2009

HotMess has a Car; ThePeach Enjoys It

HotMess has a car that pretty much personifies what journalism has done to our lives. The entire back seat is lined with Globe and Mail newspapers. There was a 24-pack of double-ply toilet paper in there for about 3 weeks. Over Christmas break HotMess left an apple in the cup holder. One month later it as a living organism.

Ususally when HotMess gives me a ride I have to brush various items out of the passenger seat. Last time these items included a stack of newspapers, the same pack of toilet paper, an empty can of sugar-free redbull, an empty bag of mini rice cakes, a tampon, and a dirty pair of gym pants. HotMess was most perplexed by the pants.

"How did those get here? When did I take my pants off in the car?"

I have no doubt that it happened. It's an adventure. Her car is like the tickle trunk.

Last night HotMess gave me a ride home from school again. Bless her. When we got to my apartment she passed me the empty red bull can and asked if I would throw it out for her. I said yes. As I was walking toward the garbage she decided maybe she would throw out some of the other clutter. I told her good luck, waved goodbye, and started walking into my lobby. Through the windows I could see her rummaging around in her back seat.

Suddenly she crouched over, as if trying not to pee her pants. She darted excitedly toward the window and started waving her hands at me. She frantically gestured to something she was holding in a bag. Through the window, she revealed the mystery object: a carton of a dozen eggs, all of them broken and oozing egg-gunk.

"YES!!!" I shouted and sprinted back outside.

"I have no idea how these even got here!" HotMess gasped between hysterical laughter.

"They must have been here for at least 3 weeks!"

I crouched over, clutching my bladder and trying not to pee in my lulus.

A dozen eggs. This is why I love HotMess.

ThePeach

2 comments:

Amy said...

Hilarious.

I feel like I have a dozen eggs in my brain. Do you love me?

Cleavage said...

YESSS the tickle trunk!