Wednesday, April 29, 2009

ThePeach has a secret life; secret shame

I’m very ashamed to share this, but if therapy (ie. Dr. Phil) has taught me anything it’s that keeping secrets now makes you punch unsuspecting people in the mouth later.

And I’m really not a violent soul.

So it’s time to come clean to the people who are most important to me: the drinking buddies, random bloggers, and strangers who read about my life over the internet.

I’ve been doing something…bad…for a few months now. I do it when I’m alone. And bored. I hide it from others, because I am scared of their judgment. And they should judge me. It’s a despicable habit.

I have been secretly filling in facebook quizzes and then deleting the results.


Oh, how I loathe those godforsaken quizzes when I see them on facebook. Does anyone really need to know which letter of the alphabet they are? Which sexual position they are? Which brand of household cleaner they are?

And then – then! – everyone posts their results and my newsfeed gets more clogged than my toilet after four pitchers of sangria and a plate of mussels. I log into facebook and instead of being able to see important information – like whether or not someone I haven’t talked to in 12 years has added an album containing 60 pictures of their engagement ring – I am forced to maneuver like a jedi warrior through an obnoxious expanse of YOUR FRIEND IS MR. CLEAN!! and YOUR FRIEND IS THE PILE DRIVER!!

It makes me so mad that I could punch someone right in the mouth.

But then, one day, curiousity got the better of me. I was alone. I was bored. I swore I would hide it from everyone. “Just one quiz,” I thought to myself. And the rest is history.

I can stop any time. I swear.

By the way, I am the Beatles song “Rain,” the Greek goddess “Hera” (the goddess of marriage? Really? Has facebook not met my mother?), the European city “London,” and the literary character “Tom Sawyer.”

I’m also Doggy Style.




Claire said...

I'm often tempted to click on those things that show up in your notifications saying things like "Michael has a secret about you, click here to find out what it is!" Even though if you added the application there would probably be no secret, it would just send an identical message to all your friends and make you look like a tool.

Also, I want to know why the same people who give FB quizzes a giant eye roll think it's socially acceptable to do those "25 random things..." things. No offence if anyone reading this has filled one out. I just don't understand why they're OK if "What's your sexiest feature?" isn't.

weeone said...

oh my goodness... i have been wanting to do exactly that.... you beat me to it peach... you always do! (glad to know you can delete your result before everyone knows!) xox :)

The Science Manly said...

Yes, I know ... I took the "What biologist are you quiz." I am ashamed, and yet happy that it came up as Darwin :P

FYI I am:
Ares, God of War
Cookie Monster
Sherlock Holmes
Captain America
Venom (the spider-man villain)

These quizzes are a glorified time-waster, like almost anything you do on facebook. It's no better and no worse than anything else :)