Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I fully expected this.

Yesterday was interesting.

I felt like things were looking up at my internship. Last week was kind of rough, but when I showed up yesterday the producer gave me a t-shirt and a tote bag! I get paid in SWAG! And everyone was in a really good mood and, let’s face it, I had sex on Sunday so the world was all lollipops and motherfucking rainbows. And it seemed like the producers liked the piece I put together for the show on Saturday, so life was grand.

I was so happy that I even changed my facebook status to reflect my cautious joy. HotMess wrote me a message in response. Here is our exact conversation:

From HotMess
May 11 at 9:50am
Glad to hear things have finally turned around! Also I heard your pork story on the radio Saturday. It was really good! Tonight are we still on for a little bbq or just box wine? Yesterday I got drunk alone again. And then ordered pizza at 2 a.m. Please save me. I think I have problems.

From ThePeach
May 11 at 9:56am
You don't have problems. You're my hero! Ya, I want to come over for sure. I bought sausages to bbq haha. Gotta support the pork industry. I had a good weekend. I watched FauxHawk do a duathalon and then we had sex. Today is awesome. Guess I should work now...

May 11 at 10:16am
Aaand we're back to disastrous. I was compiling the list of winners for our trivia contest and realized that I accidentally deleted the show’s message from voicemail and replaced it with my own name, and now nobody left their names for the contest because they thought they had the wrong number. And I have to tell the show’s host that she has to re-record it.Help.

That didn’t take very long at all. 10:16am and I’ve already created a massive catastrophe. Perhaps I should explain. The radio show that I work for has a weekly trivia contest, where people phone in with their answers and leave them on voicemail. One of my jobs is to check the messages and make a list of everyone who gets the right answer. It’s a national show, so we get a lot of calls.

Right after I sent my message to HotMess at 9:56am, I started checking the messages. 40 new messages. I got my pen at the ready. Intern HO!

Message 1: *click*
Message 2: *click*
Message 3: *click*
Message 4: *click*
ThePeach: Wow, a lot of people are just hanging up this week.
Message 5: *click*
Message 6:*click*
Message 7: *click*
ThePeach: Weird.
Message 8: *click*
Message 9: *click*
Message 10: *click*
ThePeach: Man, I miss the Fresh Prince of Belair.
Message 11: *click*
Message 12: *click*
Message 13: *click*
ThePeach: IIIIIN West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin’ out, maxing, and relaxin’ all cool and shootin’ some b-balls outside of the school…
Message 14: *click*
Message 15: *click*
Message 16: Ummm…hello? The…Peach? ThePeach? I thought this was the number for the radio contest? Why does the machine say ThePeach?
ThePeach: *SCREAM!!!!!*

Oh jesus god no.

Of course I somehow deleted the radio show’s voicemail. My fingers shook as I checked to see what outside callers were hearing when they dialed the number for the show.

ThePeach: *dials number*
Phone: *ring*
ThePeach: Please, god.
Phone: *ring*
ThePeach: Please, god, if you’ve ever loved me.
ThePeach: FUCK!!!!

So, to recap, anyone who called the radio show to enter the contest only heard an awkward silence while I waited for the beep that never came and then the sound of my voice shouting my name enthusiastically into the receiver.

National radio, folks.

I’m really leaving my mark at this internship. Maybe tomorrow I can clog a toilet or light something on fire.

You get what you pay for.


1 comment:

quackattack said...

THIS could only happen to YOU.

I'm laughing so hard I can't laugh anymore. With you, of course, laughing WITH you. ;)