Sunday, May 03, 2009

ThePeach contemplates running away; Asia sounds nice.

It’s 9am on a Sunday and I’m awake because I have a ton of shit to accomplish before I start my most terrifying internship tomorrow – a political show at the most prestigious radio station in Canada. I just dry heaved from fear as I typed that sentence.

This internship really snuck up on me. I’ve been so busy editing and researching for my other internships - and watching season six of Sex and the City (I’m fighting with FauxHawk…I’m such a cliché) – that this one kind of came out of nowhere. Suddenly it was the weekend and I realized:

a) I haven’t read a newspaper in a month
b) I don’t really know what this radio show is all about
c) What is a hedge fund?
d) I need to buy bus tickets
e) I need to figure out which bus to take
f) I need to figure out where the radio station is. The sky? At the end of a rainbow?
g) What is a minority government?
h) What is a government?
i) What is a Harper?
j) I have nothing to bring for lunch for the next month.
k) I have no professional clothing for spring. Can I wear lulus and converse low-tops? Probably not.
l) I forget how to do radio.
m) I don’t own any pens.
n) What is a general motor?
o) I’m fucked.

I’m trying to take affirmative action so that I’m not labeled the worst intern ever. It doesn’t help that, for the last two weeks, the most politically savvy girl in my class was the intern at the same show. I don’t think you comprehend my situation, here. This girl was a Page in the House of Commons. She knows acronyms. She knows the sexuality of MPs. I’m probably going to show up on Monday and find out that she’s my boss. Actually, that would be awesome…she would be kind to me.

Anyway. I bought some smart-sounding magazines yesterday and tried to read them. Macleans and The Economist. I got through Macleans, but The Economist may never happen. It hurt my brain. I also downloaded many podcasts of the radio show and tried to listen to them. I got through two and a half. Not bad. I’ll listen to another today. I bought the Saturday Globe and Mail, but so far I’ve only read the travel section and then spent two hours looking up flights to Asia. Running away is a definite option. I bought sandwich materials. If I decide to run away I can pack a bagged lunch.

But there is still work to be done. I’m about to get in the shower, go to the mall, and spend some quality time with three-way mirrors, restrictive pants, and my nearly maxed out credit card. Bitch needs dress pants. If there is anything worse than trying on dress pants when you have PMS and a uterus that barely fits into your loosest, most worn out lulus, I’d like to hear it.

After the mall I have to take my Dad out for his birthday. We’re going out for Italian. White bread should help those pants fit. Then I’ve got a full night of learning about politics ahead of me.

I predict I’m on wikipedia by 10:00pm. Query: what is a politic?

Help me.


ps – have any radio show story ideas? Leave them in my comments. I’ll buy you a puppy if any of them makes me sound impressive.

1 comment:

Sonya said...

Good luck Natalie!!! I believe in you!!!!

I bet they'll want to talk about the aftermath of the Liberal convention. Read a bit about that and you'll be able to contribute.