Things are looking up.
Also, some of you might be wondering just what kind of crazy shit a drunk and single Peach has been getting up to now that she’s free of the chains of monogamy. I’m sure you’re excited to hear about the whoring, drinking, and gonorrhea that I’ll likely experience in the coming months.
Well hold onto your hats, bitches, because the craziness is already starting. On Wednesday I got sloppy drunk with a friend and we played Super Mario Brothers 3 – on original NES – for six hours. We beat the game. All eight levels, no warping allowed. Saved Princess Toadstool.
Oh my god. I’m never getting laid again, am I?
Hymen for sale.