Tuesday, September 22, 2009

ThePeach is old; barren

I had lunch with TigerCat and my Dad yesterday. I’m having a fairly stressful week, so when a baby started screaming in the restaurant, my reaction was to curl my face in disgust and mutter “take it for a walk. TAKE IT FOR A WALK.”

TigerCat’s reaction was to coo in the general direction of the child, and turn to me.

TigerCat: When are you going to have babies? You’re going to be 27 in two weeks, you know. When are you planning on having babies?!
ThePeach: Fuck off.
Dad: Hey now. Give Peach a break. She doesn’t even have a boyfriend.
ThePeach: Amazing.

Yesterday’s anal fisting was brought to you by my family and the progression of time.

But don’t begrudge my precious TigerCat. She brought me a dozen home-made muffins.

I’ve already eaten 8 of them, alone in my disastrous apartment, watching more of my viable time slip by.



Anonymous said...

I'm sure we can keep each other company when we're barren spinsters together at the ripe ol' age of 30. ;)

thepilot said...

Do what I did. Make a deal with your sister such that she bears the kids and you promise to take care of your parents when they're older...and then move to Africa.

Note: still working on moving to Africa.

MC said...

Motherhood? Carefully consider how angry the baby in the restaurant made you - and that one wasn't even trying to suck the fun out of your nipples/life.

Anonymous said...

Obviously MC isn't ready for babies either...

Anonymous said...

actually risk of downs syndrome and chromosomal defects isn't that high until the age of 40
ya got time.
your local pediatrician

Benny said...

from what I can see you look great
keep doing what you’re doing
seek truth in many dimensions
keep laughing