Thursday, October 08, 2009

The Peach watches the fat grow; blames external forces

I haven't been for a run since school started over a month ago. This is a travesty. A travesty! I feel like a sluggish, lardy twat. Long gone are the lithe breakup-anorexia days of yesteryear. Gone are the days of leggings. Fleeting are the days of lulus.

Not ok.

I blame journalism school.

Is it possible that this year is even worst than the last? How can a program be designed to make us all want to kill ourselves? I slept 3 hours last night and I feel like I should get down on my knees and supplicate to the gods of mercy for their offering. Seriously, these are the kind of everyday, normal phone conversations I have with my classmates on a daily basis:

Yesterday:

*phone rings*
HotMess: Peach?
ThePeach: Oh hey, HotMess. How was your day?
HotMess: Well, I pulled two all nighters in a row, haven't slept since Sunday, haven't changed my clothes since Monday, haven't eaten anything except 7 RockStar Burners, and still managed not to finish my radio documentary and my prof thinks I'm lazy and useless. So I'm just kind of driving around the city and fighting the suicide. You?
ThePeach: I only had to pull one all nighter - last night - so I'm ok. You know, a little nauseous and dizzy and suicidal but nothing too bad. I'm currently wandering through the drugstore like a drunk in order to buy a jumbo bag of chips. I need fuel before I mark those undergrad exams. I also want these exfoliation gloves. Like I have time to exfoliate! *hysterical laughter* Are you going to sleep tonight?
HotMess: *weeps slowly*
ThePeach: Yeah. Me neither.

*phone rings*
Spaz: Peach?
ThePeach: Oh hey, Spaz.
Spaz: How come you weren't in class last night?
ThePeach: Oh, a girl in the newspaper section I'm editing had a royal fuck-up so our professor sent me an email in which he called me an unprofessional debacle, so I spent my night sobbing in front of my laptop and simultaneously doing the girl's interviews, and then I didn't get to start my own article until 5am, and I haven't slept yet, I just hoovered a bag of ruffles and now I'm marking undergrad exams. You?
Spaz: I spent my day contemplating my future as a writer after getting back our assignments. I'm leaning towards never writing again. Sorry about that email. Remember the time I cried for two days over a mean email from our prof?
ThePeach: Yeah. I do.
Spaz: Want to come cuddle with me in my bed?
ThePeach: Yeah. I do.

And this was just yesterday.

Maybe tonight I'll try to go for a run. Or maybe I'll just lie on my floor and let the heart attacks take me.

ThePeach

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know you're busy right now, but you need to update your bio... You may still have the ass of a 25 year old, but my dear, you're now 27. :)

Anonymous said...

Same writer...

Sorry, I was looking at an old page and I somehow missed that you have, indeed, updated your bio. My apologies!

Cheers, you hot, bad-ass 27-year-old!

Anonymous said...

Feel free to delete all of the above, as I am embarrased! :P

alicia said...

My best friend just started broadcast/journalism school and is feeling the same way (after what, a month and a half?)

Your schooling sounds pretty crazy but from your writing I suspect you are an excellent journalist!

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