Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Professionalism FAIL, part 3794

I sometimes freelance for the lifestyle section of this national newspaper chain. It makes me happy in my heart, because they ask me to write about hard-hitting topics like senior citizen fitness, peanut allergies, and more senior citizen fitness. God I love old people!

Seriously. They're adorable.

My current assignment is to compile a parent's guide to the most popular toys this holiday season. I find this a little tricky, maybe because I'm at the bitter age in my life where the sight of children makes my ovaries dry out. I'm not sure when this happened.

My first choice is "Baby Ah-Choo." Not because I think little girls need dolls, not because the doll comes with kleenex, a thermometer, and what I believe is a tiny fake bottle of hand sanitizer, but because I want to put the fear of H1N1 in the little disease-spreading grade schoolers. I don't want to catch swine because some dirty child wants to wipe its hands on everything and lick door-knobs. So let's teach them proper sanitization.

With Baby Ah-Choo.


I had to make a conference call to the senior toy buyers at a major Canadian department store. While on the phone discussing nerf guns and dolls that crap themselves, one of them asked me a question.

Senior Buyer: You don't know the tv show Bakugan?
ThePeach: No, sir, I do not.
Senior Buyer: It's the most popular boy's cartoon out there!
ThePeach: I do not know of it.
Senior Buyer: You must not have any young boys, then.
ThePeach: No, sir, I do not.
Senior Buyer: Do you have any children?
ThePeach: NO. GOD, NO!!!
Senior Buyer:...let's discuss the Flutter-By-Fairy.

That one just slipped right out.

I'll have to watch that.



Meg said...

I made the same mistake last Christmas. Effin' Bakugan. And don't even get me started on the zero gravity cars...

thepilot said...

My captain made a similar comment today when two young boys marauded by at the mall...'Do those children have any handlers?'.

Tina said...

Hi Peach... It's time for an update! I need some reading for my morning coffee break.