Monday, April 12, 2010

About last night...

We had a class party last Friday. It’s probably the last time our little journalism family would hang out all together. For many of us, it was also the first time we had taken a break from writing our theses in weeks.

So some of us really took to the bottle.

I think I peaked at about 1:45am, when I convinced GinBucket that we should climb the dividing wall in HotMess’s high-ceilinged apartment. She climbed up on my shoulders, then dragged me up, and then we were perched on a dividing wall, ceiling height, with a bottle of vodka and a lemon, for the better part of 30 minutes.

We finished the vodka. I – with all the love and tenderness in the world – whipped the lemon at BadInfluence’s head. Below us, Spaz chased MC around the apartment to get her pants back. MC screamed like a rape victim. BadInfluence drank from a bottle of tequila that had been in HotMess’s fridge for a year. GinBucket and I watched it all from a storey above them, like drunk God.

Things get a little blurry here. I think GinBucket flew. I almost lost a tooth during my graceful dismount from the heavens. There was talk of renting Saved by the Bell porn. I wanted a Happy Meal. I hit my head. I took something that may or may not have been a gravol.

Pretty typical night.

Here is an exact transcript from my text messages/phone calls the next morning:

11:12am. From GinBucket to ThePeach.
“ Why did I jump off HotMess’s ceiling? I can’t find MC’s aspirin. My life hurts. If I die it was nice knowing you.”

12:00pm. From ThePeach to GinBucket.
“I feel like I just crawled out of a grave.”

12:15pm. Phone call from Spaz to ThePeach.
Spaz: Do you think MC is still pissed about the pants? I'm worried.
ThePeach: I...can't see...where am I...
Spaz: I won them FAIR AND SQUARE!

12:30pm. From MC to ThePeach.
“Hey, just back from my pedicure. GinBucket’s still in bed, immobile. Did you have anything to do with her jumping off a wall?”

1:00pm. Phone call between MC and BadInfluence.
MC: I'm quite sure ThePeach convinced my girlfriend she could fly.
BadInfluence: I have no doubt. Brunch?
MC: Can't. Girlfriend's dead. Also, she's wearing your shirt.

2:27pm. From ThePeach to MC.
“I’m spinning in the breakfast diner. I fell last night and hit my head. Where’s my bacon.”

2:30pm. From MC to ThePeach.
“When’s GinBucket gonna get up and watch Jersey Shore with me?? Life, so hard.”

4:00pm. From FrogBoy to ThePeach.
“How was the rest of the party last night? I heard it got weird.”

7:15pm. From ThePeach to MC.
“Well. I just woke up. What day is it?”

The future of the media world.

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