Saturday, October 23, 2010

Buona sera, bitches.

BadInfluence is here for a visit this weekend. He flew in last night so that we could have one quick evening together before I had to work the next day (hence the 6am blogging).

I decided to make the evening special, and I'm not just talking about wearing the push-up bra that makes my tits look like torpedos.

Although I did wear it, which in hindsight was not a great plan, food-wise.

Since BadInfluence was coming straight from work, and doling out plane fare so he could get here early, I decided to make him a romantic dinner. I lit candles, I played sextastic music, and I timed a yummy dinner to be prepared the second BadInfluence came through the door.

I decided to tap into my Italian roots and made creamy balsamic mushroom bruschetta, followed by home-made pizza. And lots of wine. Plus the torpedo bra that, seriously, made me want to fondle my own boobs. And I'm more of an ass-man.

So, BadInfluence walks in the door, and is greeted by bruschetta and my tits.

Guess which he went for first.

As he was trying to rape me I was trying to rape him right back, but with food. I forced him to choke down two bruschetta pieces before I gave up and decided that he would not pay attention to my cooking until he, you know, rocked my body.

Following a little couch exercise, I put the pizza in the oven. He followed me into the kitchen and still, I was surprised to see, had the rape eyes.

ThePeach: This is a three course Italian dinner.
BadInfluence: tits.
ThePeach: Bruschetta to start.
BadInfluence: tits.
ThePeach: Then pizza.
BadInfluence: tits.
ThePeach: *kisses BadInfluence* And then...you get a special dessert. *winks*
BadInfluence: You better not have a fucking tiramisu in the fridge.

The torpedo bra is available at La Senza for $40.

ThePeach

5 comments:

tigercat said...

I am very disturbed by this post. I think my brain is crying ... if a brain could do such a thing.

Cerky said...

I want to feel sorry for Tigercat, I really do... but I'm more upset that there isn't a La Senza in New Zealand.

FedUp said...

Sounds like you had a fun weekend with your boyfriend, even though he apparently only had one thing on his mind.
Your posts make us laugh, cry, feel sorry for you, and ultimately realize exactly what kind of person you truly are.

BadInfluence said...

Babe, ultimately, I'm happy you're exactly the kind of person who truly enjoys sex.
Also, that bruschetta was amazing.
Love you. See you soon.

asian cymbals said...

This post makes me miss your boobs. It has been a very long time since I last stuck my finger down yon cleavage.

Yearn.