Tuesday, October 19, 2010

ThePeach still gets chased by hobos

Just a quick update because I'm exhausted and horizontal on the couch right now after another 7am start at work. But I know I gave you all abandonment anxiety this summer, so I figured I should write something before you start dating people who remind you of your fathers.

So, I live in yuppie heaven now. It's cleaner(er), there's (a slight amount of) nature, I can see the lake (and into the apartment building across the street, where BadInfluence and I once caught what we're pretty sure was a dude jerking off at his computer. His shirt was off and we could only see one hand, anyway) from my window, and, best off all, I very rarely spot hookers or hobos (until I walk 2 blocks north).

Last week I had dinner with Spaz. We drank wine and stood by her kitchen island in her brand new condo, and talked about how we can't believe these are our lives. Just a few months ago we were haggard students living in CapitalCity, and here we are now, drinking (a $10 2L bottle of) wine, eating dinner in our shiny (so expensive my first rent cheque bounced) condos, talking about our (occasionally cry-fit-inducing) jobs. We're real, class-act, city girls.

Eventually our other friend joined us, we talked about work and relationships, finished the wine, and I stumbled home on foot around 1:30am.

It was a lovely night. I could smell the lake (and urine) as I turned down my street. And then on the sidewalk, right in front of my apartment doors, I saw...a hobo.

YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, HOBO!, I thought to myself.


He had wild hair, a red face, and a limp. I tried to scurry around him, but he looked right at me with his hobo eyes and took a deep breath, puffing up his chest to prepare for a hobo-yell.


He waved his hands in the air and glared at me. Then opened his mouth again.


Wrong on all three accounts, hobo.

After a brief sidewalk stand-off, he limped along, and I walked into my building with a sigh of relief.

Then I drunk-dialed Spaz, our friend, and my work friend who, by the way, had to be up at 7am in the morning.

Class-act city girl. That's me.


1 comment:

lifeisducky said...

"Wrong on all three accounts, hobo."

... This just made my day.